Telling Yo Mama Jokes

When I was a kid, I used to love telling yo mama jokes. I can still remember some of the best jokes from the time. One of my favorite ones was “your mama is so old that when someone told her to act her age, she dropped dead,” but there are many other good ones as well. Of course, now that I am a teacher, I have a different relationship to the classic yo mama joke. Nowadays, it is my responsibility to stop kids from telling them.

In some ways, that is what makes me such a good authority figure. I know when the kids are telling yo mama jokes. I can tell when they have done something that they shouldn’t have done. I can tell at a glance which kid threw the paper airplane or blew a spit wad. Even if I can’t prove it, I always know. And 9 times out of 10, the kids fess up.

It is kind of strange for me to be an authority figure. After all, back in the day I was sort of a troublemaker. Besides telling yo mama jokes, I used to play all kinds of pranks on my teachers. I was the kid with the whoopee cushion, the kid who would throw the paper airplane at the teacher’s back when she had it turned to the class. I put graffiti on the walls and wrote swear words in the mad Libs. I did it all.

That is why, when I know my kids are telling yo mama jokes, I do my best to look the other way. I can’t let them get away with doing something to my face, but sometimes I can give them the benefit of the doubt even when I know that they probably have done what I suspect them of doing. It is a way of letting them have their fun as long as no one is getting hurt. I don’t like to see people get their feelings hurt, but I don’t mind the kids being a little dirty by themselves.

Still, what I am off-duty as we say, I do enjoy a good yo mama joke. It is funny how yo mama jokes stick around year after year, decade after decade. I’ve always found it strange how some things never grow old, no matter how long they have been around for. Certain types of humor will never die, and for some reason I’ve always found that thought reassuring.

Mother Daughter Matching Outfits

Many women consider their daughter to be their closest friend. When a daughter is in her toddler and pre-teen years it can be fun to express that closeness in different ways.

Many women have a wonderfully close relationship with their daughters. They cradle them and sing them to sleep when they are infants and offer them a shoulder of support when they are adults facing life’s struggles.

One thing that many women enjoy is to purchase mother daughter matching clothing. For some women they enjoy having mother daughter matching outfits just for pictures, but for others they find it fun on a regular basis.

You can find mother daughter matching clothing at certain boutique shops. Although the style may differ slightly to reflect the age of the person wearing it, the fabric used is exactly the same.

Finding mother daughter matching dress , outfits can be a bit of a struggle. The clothing that is designed for small children isn’t the same type of clothing that a grown woman would wear.

Mother daughter matching clothing can also be made to order. If you have a regular seamstress that you take items to for hemming or repair, ask him or her about the idea of creating mother daughter matching outfits.

If you take this approach you’ll get the exact design and fabric that you envision in your mother daughter matching outfits. Discuss with the seamstress what design you had in mind and how that can be incorporated to be suitable for both the mother daughter matching outfits.

If you want mother daughter matching dress and outfits in something like jeans and white t-shirts that can easily be done. Many manufacturers are creating jeans for the smallest of people, even infants. Having mother daughter matching casual outfits can be fun for a walk in the park or a family picnic. It’s always adorable to see a young lady wearing the same thing as her mother.

Many families like to have portraits taken where matching outfits can be showcased. In this case you can also have the male family members wear jeans and perhaps a black t-shirt as opposed to the white the females are wearing.

Letting her dress like mommy by purchasing or sewing matching outfits will put a big smile on a little girl’s face.

If you do this you’ll have a fun picture that reflects not only mother daughter matching clothing but the father and his sons will have a similar look.

Mother daughter matching clothing and accessories can be a fun way for a woman to dress her daughter up. Although you’re not likely to find an adult woman dressing the same way as her mother does, when a girl is young she wants to emulate her mother.

Your Maternity Wear Collection

The classic look of the trench coat will never go out of style….

Fall calls for the perfect coat. Don’t stuff yourself into your regular old seasonal coats when you can get a great deal on a stylish maternity trench coat that is suitable for cold, wind and rain. Stay stylish and comfortable while wearing this must have for the savvy mother-to-be. The classic look of the trench coat will never go out of style. You can either save this maternity wear for your next pregnancy or you can opt to sell this timeless piece at a consignment store or on EBay. The trench coat is a great choice because it retains its value and it makes for a great investment.

There are must-haves in every woman’s wardrobe…

Maternity wear has never been more stylish and there has never been a bigger selection of pregnancy clothing than ever before. Instead of wearing your husband’s oversized shirts, why not invest in a few choice items that are suitable for the home and the office as well. There are must-haves in every woman’s wardrobe and this simple fact doesn’t change during pregnancy. In fact, the must-have clothing is even more important when your wardrobe is limited. Focus on getting some choice pieces of maternity wear that will help you feel comfortable and beautiful all at once.

You can create a whole new look…

Of course, you want to have something very feminine in your maternity wear collection. Nothing is better suited for the office than a classic pencil skirt. This look is comfortable and flattening and you can find the pencil skirt design in just about any material imaginable, including wool.Some shoppers like to buy several maternity tops to keep their collections fresh. You can create a whole new look by adding colorful shirts and blouses to your maternity wardrobe. There are countless tops designed for comfort and attractiveness. Women have more options than ever before. Instead of settling for second hand pregnancy clothing and your husband’s shirts, try adding a few key pieces into your maternity wear collection. You will look and feel fantastic.

The warm tone of the deep chocolate…

Another must for fall is maternity wear that boasts comfort and style in a pant. Choosing a great chocolate tweed pair of pants with a lot of stretch is ideal for home and office. There are wonderful designs in this hot color ranging from flair legs to boot cut designs that are sure to please. The warm tone of the deep chocolate maternity slacks is ideal for fall and it works well into the winter months as well. Look for super soft fabrics like well-constructed twill that has a little movement. These pants will be among the most valuable maternity wear that you add to your wardrobe.

Make Kids Birthday Cakes, Special And Fun

Inside each cake, a trinket prize is baked right into the cake….

Here are a few creative ideas to make that milestone cake special.One such idea takes its cue from the Mardi Gras celebration cake tradition. Inside each cake, a trinket prize is baked right into the cake. With the Mardi Gras cake, a small King or Queen’s crown is placed into the batter. When the cake is cut, the lucky individual whose piece contains the prize is given some special favor or title. For kids birthday cakes, you can use a small action figure instead. The child who gets the trinket is awarded a prize. This adds suspense and giggles to the serving ritual.

A kids birthday cake is the centerpiece around which the entire occasion is planned..

When you were a kid, do you remember the fun of anticipating being another year older? Unlike many adults, kids entertain lots of fantasies as they’re about to put another year under their belt. Being eight is much better than being seven. Maybe you’ll get that new bike. Being thirteen means you’re now a teen. Then there’s the birthday party - and birthday cake. A kids birthday cake is the centerpiece around which the entire occasion is planned.Of course, the cake must be your kid’s favorite flavors. Beyond the taste, there are lots of fun things you can do with kids birthday cakes to make them memorable and a big hit with all the kids.

Adults may have forgotten how to really have a good time with a cake…

Give each child a tube of colored frosting gel, sprinkles or whatever might enhance that plain Jane cake. Let the birthday child go first, applying his or her take on proper cake design. Each child gets a set amount of time to do their thing. Again, this may end up looking like a cake you never imagined, but the kids will be having fun. You’ll see that adults may have forgotten how to really have a good time with a cake.When the kids have done the deed with the cake, you can present each child with a small favor bag with their name on it as a reward for their decorating efforts. While they’re checking out their prizes, you bring on the ice cream. Ah, to be a child again!

Let them decorate their own piece…

As an alternative to ordering a decorated cake, try baking a cake embellished only with the frosting of the birthday kid’s choice. Set the cake in the center of the table and surround it with little dishes of jam, sprinkles, small chocolate and assorted candies. When the kids sit down, let them decorate their own piece with the goodies they deem to make the perfect gooey concoction. A birthday is an occasion where you can let them go overboard. Although you may look askance at some of the individual creations, the kids will love it.Another fun way to make the most of a kids birthday cake is to start with the plain, frosted cake as the kids sit down.

Where to Buy Magazines Online?

I can get magazines that contribute to my need….

I can consult a writer’s guide, troubleshoot or tweak my pc, or get pertinent materials from sources featured. I can buy magazines online that have everything to do with improving as a thinker, as a person, as a woman, and I can get mags that contribute to my need for much entertainment and information on popular (not political—ick) culture. Try to  Click here for MagazineCity, They offer  “big” number of magazines …

One of the best benefits of the net(among many) for me is getting to buy magazines online…

I am utterly devoted to the written word, and just as respectful of the online written word, as a person invested in the technical world, as one who religiously enhances her knowledge of freelance writing technique(s), for improving my nonfiction craft, for evolving as a contemporary off- and online writer, and as one who is a lifetime learner.  So one of the best benefits of the net(among many) for me is getting to buy magazines online, subscribing to a technical journal or newsletter or whatever else contributes to my repertoire.

Another great company is  Zinio.com. Search inside 10,000 of the world’s magazines.  They are  magazine “Experts” with great selection…..

Getting your magazine subscriptions via the worldwide web…

There are external benefits, too, to buying magazines online, those that prevent you from having to deal with a pushy telemarketer, or a surly, snotty-nosed brick-and-mortar store clerk.Okay, so I extol the virtues of the ezine, of getting your magazine subscriptions via the worldwide web….You have the right to a well defined list of billing policies and procedures, regarding the duration of the magazine subscription, regarding the number of issues in one subscription, regarding your cancellation rights.After you are a subscriber: You have the right to check the expiration date (on your magazine subscription label) and the subsequent right to reject an offer to renew which is made not by the magazine but by an unrelated, unaffiliated company scamming you for extra cash. 

Entertainment, self-help, fashion, news, and hundreds of other subject….

That is when I buy magazines online I know I am not limited to getting work materials, not limited to that which is technical.  Entertainment, self-help, fashion, news, and hundreds of other subject areas make for great reading (reading that you don’t have to study), as does online literature and as do humor columns and articles, blogs, and other brilliant music, art, and cultural publications. 

Best Mothers Day Gifts

Mother's Day With David's Cookies

Do something once, it is a surprise…

Usually, I get together with my siblings to come up with Mothers Day gift and presents ideas. The past two years, we have taken her out for an extremely nice dinner as a Mothers Day present. You see, if there’s one thing that my mom likes, it is being taken out for dinner. If one of her child got her diamond earrings for Mothers Day, and another one got her a 20 dollars steak, I know which child she would favor! Nonetheless, my mom also doesn’t like repetition. Do something once, it is a surprise. Do it two times, she will let it slide. But take her out for Mothers Day three years in a row and she will say something nasty.

Something that takes a little bit of planning…

Finding the right gifts Mothers Day can be difficult, especially if you have a mom like mine. Most Mothers Day gifts, you see, are pretty sentimental and stereotypical. People get Mothers Day bears or mugs, T-shirts with hearts on them or boxes of chocolates. My mother, however, hates all of that stuff. She views it with scorn, and she wants nothing to do with it. Finding her the perfect Mothers Day gift, needless to say, is something that takes a little bit of planning.

I am sure that we will all find something for her…

Sometimes, I wish I lived in one of those families  where Mothers Day presents gifts are something routine! I don’t mind working to find the perfect gift for my mom, but the perception that she is subtly laughing at us as we wrack our  brains trying to find the perfect Mothers Day gifts Is a little bit disconcerting. One way or another, I am sure that we will all find something for her before the big day comes, but in the meantime it’s going to be quite stressful!

I can usually find something

Unfortunately, my mother is not one of those people who believes in giving hints. I think that she secretly enjoys watching us squirm a little bit, stressing out over what present to get for her. I know that she likes books, and I can usually find something that she hasn’t read but would like to, but this year nothing comes to mind. She is such an avid reader, you see, that I think that she has read everything that is current and worth reading. I don’t want to take a chance and buy books that she might have read as Mothers Day gifts and presents , but I don’t know how to find out without sounding like I am dropping hints.

Gardening Magazines, Ideas And Tips For Gardening!

Different situations…

What first sparked your interest in gardening? Maybe your neighbor’s bountiful vegetable garden, neatly laid out in terraced redwood boxes got you thinking. Perhaps you just purchased a new home that definitely needs some landscaping to replace the plain dirt and cement vista seen from the living room and street. If you have a single goal you’d be happy to complete this spring or summer, what would it be?

Established gardeners have their favorites delivered to their street or virtual mailbox…Check the Yardiac.com they are experts for gardening

Whether you’ve just caught the gardening bug or have taught generations of fellow gardeners how to plow and harvest, you probably have scoped out the dozens of gardening magazines on the rack more than once. Established gardeners have their favorites delivered to their street or virtual mailbox.

Click here for MagazineCity , you can find some gardening magazines for ideas…

From weekend planting projects to detailed instructions…

If you’re new to this satisfying hobby, you may have no idea of the breadth and wealth of information just waiting for your perusal. From weekend planting projects to detailed instructions on grafting cactuses, gardening magazines offer information that covers everything you want to know to make your garden grow. Some offer general knowledge, others emphasize how-to topics while yet another focuses on organic gardening.

Once you get started, it’s easy…

What you need to do is browse the selection of topics available both on the newsstand and online. Many gardening magazines appear in print and on the web. Gardening websites have archives of past issues and feature articles, free for your reading pleasure and education. You’ll find gardening tips, photo galleries and step-by-step DIY projects. Once you get started, it’s easy to see that you can fulfill your gardening goals, no matter how simple or specialized they might be.

To do a through investigation before actual planting…

Let’s say you’d be delighted to grow a few of your favorite vegetables and herbs, but your space is confined to a small patio or balcony. There are gardening magazines that specialize in small gardens. To do a through investigation before actual planting, you should check out the organically oriented gardening magazines. Hydroponic growing may also suit your situation.

There’s no telling what may happen to your magazine budget!

Once you’ve checked out a sizable sample of available gardening magazines, you’ll find several that appeal to your sense of style and that contain relevant content. However, once you’ve got one project successfully under your gardener’s belt, your list of favorites may grow exponentially.

Experienced gardeners advise the beginner to start small…

Now your problem is to focus - unless you have time to burn, try to focus on the information you need this year. Experienced gardeners advise the beginner to start small and build on that accomplishment. This approach makes it far more likely you’ll complete your first project with enjoyment and satisfaction. Next year you’ll be prepared to tackle more.

Cake Decorating Technique, Tips

I wanted to go to another level….

The cake decorating techniques that I was able to learn in this class, however, completely took me to another level. They absolutely blew me away. Cake decorating technique is basically an entire artform. It isn’t just a matter of making a cake look pretty. There are textural techniques, decorative effects, effects that are useful for drawing images of faces or backgrounds. Basically, anything that you could conceivably imagine someone doing to a cake has been done. The experts can make cakes so beautiful that it would be a shame to eat them!

I was not the most artistic cake decorator…

Until I took a pastry class, I had no idea how many cake decorating techniques there were. I always thought that decorating a cake was a pretty simple affair. When I was growing up, my mother loved to make cakes. She showed me a couple simple designs that you can use on a cake, and I copied her designs faithfully. I can make flowers, swirls, little ice cream cones, and of course all the letters in the alphabet. I was not the most artistic cake decorator, but I knew enough to make a pretty professional looking cake.

Consider donating your surplus…

If you want to get really good at cake decorating techniques, you need to have someone to eat your cakes. This may sound obvious, but I know a lot of people who have struggled with this. If you’re passionate about decorating cakes but do not have a few friends who like the cakes that you decorate, you’ll end up putting on a lot of weight. There will be nowhere to put the cakes, so you’ll have to eat them yourself. It is amazing how quickly the pounds can accumulate when you always have cake about the house. If you don’t have friends who like cake, consider donating your surplus to the local church or perhaps to a homeless shelter. There are plenty people around who will be grateful for any food at all, never mind gourmet cakes!

You just want to make cakes for your friends and family?

Of course, it isn’t necessary to learn all of these cake decorating techniques if you just want to make cakes for your friends and family. As a matter of fact, only the top cake decorators know more than a few techniques. If you get a cake decorating kit, you can probably figure out all of the simple cake decorating techniques yourself. There are plenty of online guides to how to decorate a cake if you get stuck, so you need not worry about running out of ideas.

Lucky You Parfume, Modern And Retro All In One

Ideal for women of all ages…

Don’t let the youthful personality of this fragrance fool you. The Lucky You perfume brand is ideal for women of all ages. This scent is light and airy but it also offers a touch of sparkle that almost reminds me of a fine glass of Champagne. There is a hint of floral undertones with a fun, flirty but grown up presence that offers the perfect balance.

This is a rare find as many women know…

Lucky You perfume is a soft, gentle fragrance that offers great flair for personality as well as a clean scent. This is a rare find as many women know. Many other perfumes offer a spark of personality but unfortunately the personality is more like a raging mother-in-law than a young, chic woman.

Noticeable but not overwhelming…

Choosing a scent that is right for you can pose some real challenges. Women want to find fragrances that have personality and charm. They also look for a scent that is noticeable but not overwhelming. Lucky You perfume is a real fortunate find for many different women. There are some reasons why you might want to take a whiff of this enchanting scent.

An appealing aspect….

When I wear Lucky You perfume I make sure to carry the fragrance in my purse, especially when I am going to be out for the entire day. The scent is subtle to begin with and the fragrance lightens up as the hours pass. This is an appealing aspect of the Lucky You perfume because the scent is never overpowering in spite of its vibrant personality.

Lucky You perfume is perfect for any time of year….

I used to keep different fragrances for different seasons. However, Lucky You perfume is perfect for any time of year. The scent if subtle and you can be sure that the fragrance will not overwhelm you even if you put a little more on than you intended. I think that this makes the scent perfect for just about any occasion.

All of this personality in a beautifully subtle way…

I have encountered many different fragrances in my perfume-wearing career. I rarely come across a scent that offers undertones of citrus, flowers and musk in one package. The amazing thing about Lucky You perfume is that it offers all of this personality in a beautifully subtle way.

Retro and modern design, all in one….

There is no question that the personality of this fragrance is light, fun and youthful. Lucky You perfume comes in a pink bottle that has a rubber stopper. The stopper is a feature that you don’t come across every day. The pink bottle is cute and young while the stopper is a throwback from perfumes from generations past.

 

Kids Easter Baskets, Candy Problems…..

Candy, the problem with kids Easter baskets!

The problem I have with kids Easter baskets is the candy. Candy is great, we all know that, but we also know that there is no need to have a lot of it. Not only is it empty calories, some children are nuts when given too much sugar, and one of those children is mine. When I go out to buy her kids Easter baskets, I made sure I know what is in it, and what I can get out of it before I give it to her. Some years I have had to make my own because I haven’t found anything that I like.

We all celebrate Easter!

Each year we celebrate Easter, but I worry about putting together kids Easter baskets for my daughter. Though I only get her one, I know that my mother is going to get her one as well, and I have to tell her what I want her to get so she does not fill the entire thing with candy. I allow my daughter to have a little candy, but there is a limit. Most of the candy she gets will end up in the trash, so there is no sense in buying a lot when something else might be more useful.

If you want to make kids Easter baskets with less candy, you can use the same items!

Last year, I filled up a huge basket for my daughter. I put in a chocolate bunny for her because I think no basket is complete without one. I also got her some jelly beans, but that was all of the candy that I added. I also got some sidewalk chalk, a kite, bubbles, and some sidewalk paint. We then added some flip flops and some sunglasses, along with a blow up toy for the summer time. She was pleased with what she got, and she got great use out of each of the items. If you want to make kids Easter baskets with less candy, you can use the same items. They are guaranteed to be hits. 

You can get a lot of great springtime items to put in the basket!

If you want less candy in your kids Easter baskets, you can make your own like I did, or look for ones that have different things in them. You can get a lot of great springtime items to put in the basket. As long as they find at least some candy in their baskets they are going to be fine with the rest being missing. If they don’t know, they certainly aren’t going to complain. If you think about what is coming with springtime, you can come up with some great ideas to make your own kids Easter baskets.

Next Page →